9 Times Carrie Fisher Inspired Us With Her Words Of Wisdom

1. On forgiveness

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In her Guardian advice column, responding to a woman whose husband had an affair, Fisher wrote: “Forgive him. It’s the most amazing thing to be able to forgive. And so difficult. But relationships are difficult. You’ve managed to maintain your commitment to him. You’re the better person in that arena and in the position to forgive.”

2. On the notion of beauty

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She told Good Housekeeping: “We treat beauty like an accomplishment, and that is insane. Everyone in LA says, ‘Oh you look good,’ and you listen for them to say you’ve lost weight. It’s never ‘How are you?’ or ‘You seem happy!’”

3. On being labeled a “damsel in distress”

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In an interview with Rolling Stone, Fisher shut down the idea that Princess Leia was a “damsel in distress.” She said: “I don’t know what your idea of distress is, but that wasn’t [it]. I was locked up, but, you know, so were the guys later on. What about them? And also I wasn’t some babe running through the galaxy with my tits bouncing around.”

4. On sex and lies

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Consoling a woman whose husband cheated, Fisher wrote, “Everyone always lies about sex. If you haven’t lied about it, it isn’t sex. Have you ever faked an orgasm? Some might say that’s a kind of well-meaning lie – but it’s still lying, no?”

5. On heroes — and how anyone can be one

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Addressing someone living with bipolar disorder, Fisher wrote from her own experience with mental illness: “We have been given a challenging illness, and there is no other option than to meet those challenges. Think of it as an opportunity to be heroic – not ‘I survived living in Mosul during an attack’ heroic, but an emotional survival. An opportunity to be a good example to others who might share our disorder.”

6. On living in the moment

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She told Rolling Stone: “What I always wanna tell young people now: Pay attention. This isn’t gonna happen again. Rather than try to understand it as it’s going along, have it go along for a while and then understand it.”

7. On conquering fear

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Asked what she’d tell young people who are afraid to pursue their dreams while living with a mental illness, she told HT Health: “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”

8. On secrets and overcoming shame

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She told Palm Beach Illustrated about secret shame. “It’s best to talk about it. You’re only as sick as your secrets. If it is a secret — anything that makes you sort of shame-based — if you can claim it, it has a lot of less power over you.”

9. On aging

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After her looks became a topic of scrutiny in the wake of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Fisher slammed her body-shamers: “Please stop debating about whether or not I aged well. Unfortunately it hurts all three of my feelings. My body hasn’t aged as well as I have. Blow us.”

10. On love — and how to get over failed relationships with toxic people

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In a conversation with Courtney Love in The Return of Courtney Love, Fisher gave the Hole singer love advice: “After I’ve made as many bad choices as I have, I have to assume that the choices are mine. I’m not a victim and neither are you. We are choosing these people … You’re not lonely if you choose friends to be with, but you have to find companions to be with. You’re gonna have to find someone you like and not are in love with. You get really stirred up and crazy when you’re in love.”

11. On fitting in

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In her book Wishful Drinking, she wrote: “And when you’re young you want to fit in. Hell, I still want to fit in with certain humans, but as you get older you get a little more discriminating.”

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